This morning we upped the quantity of spinach for our trial to one teaspoon. To be honest, Ginny was a little less interested in the spinach this time (and you know I don't blame her), but she ate it just the same. I believe that her lack of enthusiasm is partly my own doing. Last night, as she sat in her high char while the rest of us ate dinner, I went a little crazy. Again. It's so obvious when she fusses while we eat that she just wants food... and it got me thinking (and I just want to feed her)... We had pears perfectly ripe for making baby food so, I jumped up, cut off a chunk of ripe pear, put it in her mesh feeder, and handed it over. Although she wasn't sure about this at first (and I had a slight moment of hesitation and fear wondering if she would react differently to fresh pears than she did to roasted, pureed pears), she eventually waved her arms around, laughed, smiled, mashed up the pears with her two teeth and gums, and enjoyed every strained morsel. So I think, having had fresh and yummy pears, spinach might have been a little less appealing this morning.
As soon as the spinach was gone, we were out the door for an early morning appointment with the allergist to check on the results of Ginny's patch testing. The patch was dramatically removed and revealed... wait for it.... nothing. Absolutely nothing. At the most, when we looked at it again later today, the soy area is slightly red. Slightly red. Milk and eggs showed nothing. NOTHING. Soy is SLIGHTLY red. SLIGHTLY. I know that these tests are not considered incredibly accurate or conclusive but I'm so tired of not knowing so much that I thought this test would tell me something. I got nothing.
I had an incredibly long discussion with the allergist about what this means and/or doesn't mean or what it tells us or doesn't tell us. I worried that this means that FPIES isn't the right diagnosis for Ginny. I considered just feeding her rice cereal to see what happens so I know SOMETHING. I considered speeding up/shortening all her food trials. But, at the end of the day, this changes nothing. I will change nothing. We know nothing more. I am simply more frustrated. Angrier at this beast. Stuck crawling forward at this snails pace wondering when we'll hit a land mine and trigger another reaction. I just wanted something that felt more concrete. I got nothing.
At the most, this gives us hope that we might consider trialing milk and eggs sooner after G's first birthday. I should be happy for these results I guess. At the best, this could mean that rice is her only big trigger. I should feel happy. Ginny is healthy and happy. Looking at her and the rolls around her wrists and ankles, no one could possibly guess what she's been through. Instead, I feel beaten today. It's exhausting when it's difficult to simply feed your child.
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